Chuck Schading

Jan. 6, 1849

Dearest Martha,

We have learned more about the incident that occurred the other night. The innkeeper witnessed two men, one bearded and one not, one tall and the other stout, and both shabbily dressed, approach the idiot boy near the barn and demand money and goods. Of course the boy, being an idiot from a foreign land, had no idea of what they were speaking so merely nodded “yes.” The men then threatened him with harm, and again the boy nodded in the affirmative. They shouted “Are you sure?!” And the boy nodded “yes.” Then they shouted “Are you really sure?!” and again he nodded “yes.” Finally, they shouted, as loudly as a braying mule, “Are you really, really sure?!” and AGAIN the boy nodded “yes.” Can you believe that, Martha? That’s when the bearded man clocked the boy in the eye, and I daresay he deserved it. After the boy, now even dumber than before, a fact that I scarcely believed possible, still did not produce any funds for these unsavory characters, the taller man became frustrated and punched the ox, who also failed to produce any monetary notes. Ultimately, the men broke open a crate, found it loaded with supplies such as tins and pots and blankets and garments and whatnot and absconded with it. I would have much preferred that they had absconded with that idiot boy! The innkeeper and I relayed all of this to the sheriff, who also thrashed the boy and promised to post a description of the thieves at the courthouse.

The innkeeper and the sheriff also reprimanded me for leaving the boy out in the cold in the uncovered half of the barn overnight. But I explained the boy’s nature and they relented. We did however come to agreement that the boy shall be provided one of our still empty crates to take shelter in during inclement weather and that we would drill two holes in it so he could stay on watch throughout the night. If the boy fails to watch our goods again I shall thrash him myself!

As was to be expected, Jeffers did visit the house of ill-repute last evening. Most unfortunately, the physician paid him another visit just this morning and now believes a diagnosis of syphilis to be correct. He prescribed mercury and ointments and instructed Jeffers not to engage with womenfolk for at least a fortnight. The whores will be most displeased! 

So impressed was I with this man’s diagnosis (though a day late), that I have asked this Doc Waters to join us on our trip. Should one of us fall ill or become injured, his services could prove invaluable. The chances of that are slim as we are a hardy bunch, but America is a wild place yet. Additionally Doc Waters says he fears a declining number of people will attend his practice now considering three died on his table just last week though no fault of his own (a palsy, a gangrene amputation that failed to cauterize, and a tooth extraction). None were upstanding citizens so I don’t understand his concern. But we are thrilled to have him with us now.

We are making progress. Martha!

I eagerly await the day when I can see you again. Yes, it will be many miles and months from now, if not years. But know I pine for you daily and have no desires for the whores.

I am, forever yours,

Montgomery G. Jenkins

PS. I am meeting with the cloaked man at sunset today. I have decided, over Pike’s objections, to entrust this stranger with half our budget in anticipation that he will stay true to his word and return with double the funds in a week’s time. What a stroke of good fortune it is to have met him just as we are in need of additional funds to replenish our stolen supplies. Huzzah!

PPS. Give the children my love and tell William that I have not forgotten his mirthful joke about the hen going from one side of the road to the other. It still causes me to chortle from time to time but I rarely have time for such frivolities, as you are surely aware.